


Can´t Take Another Heartbreak

by thekindworthreading



Series: Jamilton Month 2020 [2]
Category: Hamilton - Miranda
Genre: Alternate Universe - Fantasy, Angst, First Kiss, Fluff, Jamilton Month 2020, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-02
Updated: 2020-06-02
Packaged: 2021-03-03 19:42:18
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,378
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24510985
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thekindworthreading/pseuds/thekindworthreading
Summary: Alexander Hamilton wakes up in the body of his political opponent.
Relationships: Alexander Hamilton/Thomas Jefferson
Series: Jamilton Month 2020 [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1773895
Comments: 4
Kudos: 118





	Can´t Take Another Heartbreak

**Author's Note:**

> This is for day 2 of Jamilton Month 2020: Roll/Gender Swap  
> It took me so little time to write like ??? is this witchcraft????

When Alex wakes up, he is confused about where he is. He´s not in his bedroom, even though he has vivid memories of going to sleep there last night. Had he been kidnapped? That seems unlikely, because he is still able to move. He sits up and looks around the room. He is sitting in the middle of a nightmare of magenta. It looks just like he´d imagine Jefferson´s bedroom would look like… did Jefferson kidnap him?

He jumps up, about to go look for whoever is responsible for him being here, when he catches a glimpse of himself in the mirror, only, it´s not his face that´s staring back at him, but Jefferson´s. He instantly touches his face and hair, his mirror-self doing the same. True to what he´s seeing, it´s not his face and hair under his fingers.

This has to be a dream. This is impossible.

He slowly walks over to the mirror, touching the cold surface, while watching Jefferson doing the same. He spends a few minutes just staring at himself as Jefferson in the mirror, before a sudden thought strikes him; if he´s in Jefferson´s body, does that mean Jefferson is in his?

He storms out of the room and down the hallway, at first taking a wrong path, before he finds the stairs. He is about to leave the house, when one of the servants catches up with him.

“Mister Secretary, sir, don´t you want to put on some clothes before going out?”, he asks, and Alex looks down at Jefferson´s body.

He is just wearing a thin shirt and underpants, his feet bare. Reluctantly he returns to the bedroom, looking through Jefferson´s wardrobe. _Why can´t he own normal clothes?_ After a bit of searching, Alex finds a more or less simple black suit, that he puts on. He hates to admit it, but Jefferson does have a nice body, and if he lets his hands explore a bit more than necessary, well, no one needs to know.

Once he has put on the clothes, he makes his way downstairs again. He is glad that no one tries to stop him this time, even though a few of the servants regard him with worried glances. Maybe it wasn´t the smartest course of action to not wear something as extravagant as Jefferson usually does, but he really couldn´t care less about that right now.

He hurries down the street, glaring at everyone who even looks remotely like they might try to talk to him. This might be bad for Jefferson´s reputation, but that will only benefit him later, when they have managed to fix this again. For a second a thought comes to his mind that they won´t be able to fix this – whatever _this_ is – but he discards it again. It won´t do him any good if he panics now.

The walk to his own house feels like hours, even though he knows that it´s been barely twenty minutes. His hand shakes when he reaches out to knock and he takes a steadying breath, willing himself to remain calm. He waits for a few seconds and knocks again when the door doesn´t get opened.

“Jefferson, open the goddamn door!”, he hisses, which earns him confused looks from some passers-by.

He waits another minute, until he picks up the key, he has hidden underneath a flowerpot, and unlocks the door, stepping into the house. He takes the familiar path to his bedroom, guessing that Jefferson will be there. Alex thinks about knocking on the bedroom door, but immediately shakes his head at the thought. He will definitely not knock on any door in his own house, least of all on his bedroom door. He opens it and stops when he sees himself sitting on the bed.

He knew what he would see, but that didn´t prepare him for actually seeing himself sitting there. It feels like a dream or if he´s going insane, both sounding like more reasonable explanations than what´s actually happening.

“Thomas?”, he asks quietly, a slight tremble in his voice, that´s not at all his own voice.

The man on the bed turns around to him, his face pale, and Alex can see tear tracks on his cheeks.

“Alexander?”, Thomas asks.

It feels like another punch, hearing his own voice, that doesn´t quite sound like his own.

Alex doesn´t know what he was expecting, but it wasn´t Thomas getting up and hurrying over to throw his arms around him. He doesn´t react at first, until he carefully brings his arms around Thomas.

“I am really tiny.”, Alex says to break the awkward silence, but Thomas doesn´t seem to hear him.

“I didn´t know. I didn´t know any of it, oh my god.”

It sounds like he is crying, and once again Alex gets reminded of how surreal this whole situation is.

“What didn´t you know?”, he asks softly.

“Your mother. John. Eliza. I´m so sorry. I didn´t know any of it. How can you live with it?”

It feels like a slap in the face, hearing his names of his dead lovers, and he pushes Thomas away, taking a few steps back.

“What are you talking about?”

Thomas looks at him confused, opening and closing his mouth a few times, like he is trying to find the right words.

“Don´t… don´t you have all my memories too?”, he asks.

It takes a moment for Alex to fully grasp what Thomas just has said and what that means. He backs off further, until his back hits the wall and he is forced to stop.

“You have all my memories?”, Alex asks, his voice flat and almost toneless.

Thomas nods.

“You don´t?”

Alex shakes his head, swallowing.

“I don´t.”

Thomas just stares at him for a moment.

“So you don´t know that I…”, he stops, looking down at his hands.

“I don´t know what?”, Alex asks absentmindedly.

He is far too distracted by worrying about everything Thomas has just found out about him. He watches Thomas wearily as he walks over to him. Alex is about to ask what Thomas is doing, when he reaches up and cups his face. Alex´ breath catches and then Thomas is kissing him. For a moment he freaks out, until he melts into the kiss, his hands curling around Thomas´ waist, pulling him closer.

“I´ve wanted to do that for ages.”, Thomas breathes, when they have to part again.

Alexander still feels like his head is spinning, but he is glad that he isn´t the only one who´s out of breath.

“Kiss yourself? I always knew you are narcissistic and-“, Thomas kisses him again, successfully shutting him up.

“No, you asshole. I´ve wanted to kiss you for ages.”, Thomas says, his voice soft, despite his harsh words.

“Oh.”

“And now I know, you´ve wanted this too.”

Alex smiles shyly and leans forward to kiss Thomas again. He feels lightheaded and like he´s floating, his head still spinning. When he opens his eyes again, he looks up into the deep brown one´s of Thomas, the real Thomas, and not the one in his body.

“What-?”, he asks at the same time as Thomas says: “Too bad, I was looking forward to fucking myself, but you will do too.”

Alex groans.

“You are such an asshole.”

Thomas laughs, but there is still some sadness left in his eyes, when he looks at Alex.

“I really want you.”, Thomas says softly. “I want this.”

Alex is silent for a moment, not sure what to do. He had promised himself to never let anyone come close again, but here Thomas is, knowing everything about him and still wanting him.

“You really want me?”, he asks quietly.

He has to be sure. He doesn´t know if he could take another heartbreak.

“I do.”

Alex still hesitates a moment, searching Thomas´ face for a lie. When he doesn´t find one, he lets out a shaky breath.

“Are you sure?”

“I am.”

“Okay.”

**Author's Note:**

> For more Hamilton shit come to my tumblr @whatdidimissjm and pls leave comments of what you think of this fic!


End file.
